its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
