do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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