she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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