So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
