someone threw a dead crab at me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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