hotel room ftw
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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