so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
