for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
