$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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