do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
