I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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