I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
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I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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