My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
