She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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