soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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