I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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