how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
