anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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