Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
