God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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