Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
