youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
