bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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