new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
