I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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