She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
