who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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