Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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