I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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