Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You smell like stripper and shame
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
