im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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