Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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