I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
