you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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