I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
