I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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