The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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