I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
