He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
