we have pet lesbian snakes
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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