I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
