Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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