I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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