Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize