Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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