Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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