I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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