your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
MIDGETS
????
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
