It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
