is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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