A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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