i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Is Oprah even human
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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