there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
