Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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