and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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