census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
