i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
