I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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