Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
