with your own penis?
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
