Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
