The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
