She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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