no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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