OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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