god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
