i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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