I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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