During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize