Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Small penises have feelings too.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
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IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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